valentine 2013 ~ just because...

...i'm spectacular on my own

...it takes two to tango and i'm a fabulous lead

...everyone's invited to my dance party

Hey Hey I started my Valentine's Day celebration early. Guess who brought me this double bouquet of amazing peachy orange and creamy apricot roses. It wasn't some rich faker, controlling coward son of a bitch, that's for sure. Pardon my French!

I'm laughing when I think back to Valentine's 2012, and how heart-broken I was over a shallow man (bless his heart - I don't think he could help himself) who dropped me without a hint of warning. It was such a painful time on so many levels, but all of the wise and comforting comments left by many of you, in the wake of my suffering, were so right. I was lucky to be rid of that guy sooner than later.

Do you remember the French folktale of Bluebeard? The wealthy lord that gave his bride access to all his treasures but forbid her entry to one room in his castle... yeah the bloody room with all of his dismembered former wives! This guy who gave me roses, bought me gifts, called me every single day, swept me away on luxury weekends at Tahoe and the Sierras, and made cheesy power point slide shows with images from our trips together --all shine on the surface-- was a bluebeard if I ever knew one. I was lucky to escape with minimal damage. However...

Like some psychic homeopathic remedy, this particular heart-break put me on the path of kindness and compassion, and made me reconsider the evidence of love as something that manifests from the inside out. I've never loved myself more, nor have I felt kinder towards others. After experiencing the brutality of being in a controlling relationship, I'm more aware of my own controlling tendencies, and am far less compelled to control outcomes for myself and others.

Just because... my work, my world, and my relationships are blossoming... I gave myself a double bouquet of orange and apricot roses for Valentines Day.

They smell even better than they look!