april mandala / harmony

Harmony ready to be made - yarn

April 21....

I was riding into SF today on the BART and there was one seat open next to a pretty rough homeless man who was sleeping. He seemed like he was sick, more than passed out. Apparently no one else wanted to sit next to him, because this was towards the end of the morning rush and there were people standing in the car when I boarded. Anyway I sat down next to him and a few minutes into the ride he re-positioned in his sleep and leaned into me, resting his head against my shoulder and his arm into my side. People on the train were staring (at least those not completely absorbed by their phones) and perhaps wondering how I would react - what would happen. I just sat there like he was an intimate friend or child and let him be. Some people smiled at me awkwardly in sympathy or empathy. The incredibly emotional thing was that it felt good, the human touch and warmth, and of being of comfort. I thought it must have been a comfort to him, but I definitely felt comfort, and intense need. I'm still shaken by it. I don't know what to make of it. I've been tearing up all day.

Being in harmony with others is about finding common ground with those who are different, or have different goals and needs than our own. The harmony of different voices and notes blending can be sublime. At first glance it all seems quite "nice." On a deeper level living in harmony with others, especially in a diverse, high density city with huge disparities in wealth, like the San Francisco Bay area, can be disturbing, shocking, unexpected, and even more cathartic than I ever imagined.